Blog from my friend Carol Bui - On Music, Representation and Sexuality

I used to be obsessed with the idea of whoring and wrote a handful of songs about it.  I want to share one of them with you but I have to explain a lot first.  It’s called ‘Geisha Means ‘Open Minded’’.  

You can chalk it up to ‘daddy issues’, low self-esteem, financial issues, laziness, whatever.   That might all be true.  I AM kind of an attention hog and my dad left the country to run away from my family AND I’ve been fiscally irresponsible for all of my adult life so far.  You can also say that because I’m Asian, I have an irrepressible need to please.  Yes, roll your eyes, that is the desired response.  I hate adding to stereotypes, but it is what it is.  I fit all of the above.

I would love to brag and say I was brave enough to go out and offer my cooch to the world for a shit ton of money, but sadly (or thankfully?) I was not.  I am not.  Oh, I sooo wanted to…but the closest I got to doing it was answering a Craigslist ad for Elbow tickets in exchange for sharing that concert experience with ‘some dude’.  It was a fun night and I didn’t have to put out.  

I DID dance at strip club but that didn’t last for more than a couple days.  My stage name was ‘Velouria’.  A few patrons got it.  I didn’t bother flirting with those who didn’t.

My obsession drew me to the deepest bowels of the internet.  It was fascinating to say the least.  I discovered the most fascinating pieces of digital erotica…escort reviews!  Oh my goodness, they’re hilarious!  I totally get it.  Patrons, or ‘hobbyists’ as they’re known in this world, need to know what they’re paying for.  They are a diverse group of consumers and have diverse needs, and as you know, escorts are human too so their range of services vary immensely. What amuses me is the awesome writing style. Check out this gem from a Pacific NW based site called The TNA Board:

“She has a curvy frame and ASS for days, the pics on her ad dont make her justice.

I’m an ASSman, if you’ve seen my reviews, you’ll see.

She’s got booty. And warning !you might fell the urge to DATO her.

I noticed she got pretty wet, I had hell of a good time too: BBBJ<DT<BBBJ,DT,DATY,DATO<MIsh,<Sideways<,BBBJ>DT>completion.

Next thing I know I explode like the Vesuvius in CIM, big load..

Was nice to meet you & see you again soon Miss XXX!

I’m ready for the 2nd round!

Xoxo.”

BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHH!!!! 

Not all reviews were that goofy.  Some actually indicated real, life altering experiences.  In all seriousness, I really wanted to explore the psychology of all this.  As a society we’ve discussed,  presumed and speculated over what the provider goes through in this business.  Don’t you wonder what the clients are thinking?  Why do they pay for sex?  Is that really all they want? How do their lives change once they start ‘hobbying’? Emotionally, mentally and spiritually?  How does it affect their relationships?  Could it possibly be therapeutic?  Can it be a psychic experience even?  Remember, people who pay for sex are people, too.  

So I wrote ‘Geisha Means Open Minded’.  Laugh or scoff all you want, but I fantasized about men writing reviews about me.  They’d talk about how I make their lives so much better, how liberated, relaxed and peaceful they are when they’re with me, how I make them feel worthy of love.  Yea, it’s an ego thing.  I registered for a VIP account on theeroticreviews.com and hijacked the ‘juicy details’ of some of my favorite reviews and compiled them into lyrics for this song.  

Hope you enjoy the song.  I enjoyed writing and recording it.

http://soundcloud.com/frkitten99/04-geisha-means-open-minded

Carol Bui is a singer songwriter, musician and professional Middle Eastern dance artist.  She grew up in the DC area and moved to Tacoma, WA in 2010.  She firmly believes in the healing power of music, dance and touch.